To Be Oneself

 



I was reminded of one of my favorite stories from Tales of Hassidim and continue to be haunted by it. I am paying attention to that haunting quality and seeking meaning in its persistence. What might I need to learn?

A rabbi named Zusya died and went to stand before the judgment seat of God. As he waited for God to appear, he grew nervous thinking about his life and how little he had done. He began to imagine that God was going to ask him, "Why weren't you Moses or why weren't you Solomon or why weren't you David?" But when God appeared, the rabbi was surprised. God simply asked, "Why weren't you Zusya?"


We spend so much time trying to be others for complicated and myriad reasons, only to discover the futility and anxiety associated with that task. As Gregory of Nyssa pointed out (and I paraphrase):  a soul seeking to be other than its own authentic self is like climbing a huge mountain of sand, expending inordinate energy to slip backwards again and again. 


Perhaps one of life’s greatest truths and paradoxes is that to be oneself is best and less burdensome. The problem is discerning who the self truly is. 

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