When Am I ?

 



As someone fascinated by questions of “identity” I have always thought that one of the most important questions we can ask is “who am I?”.  Upon reading James K.A. Smith’s How to Inhabit Time I realized that the inquiry which further informs the identity question, and is essential to its understanding, is “when am I?”. I will admit it is not a question I have asked myself!


We are located in space and time, between creation of all things and some kind of ultimate revelation. Who we are is unique and evolving. When I am brings forth history and legacy and affects our orientation at any given moment. As Smith introduces his topic: “Knowing when we are can change everything. Knowing whether it’s dawn or dusk changes how you live the next moment.” 


I am going to adopt an intentional contemplative time to ponder this question of when I am during Lent. I believe that it offers an opportunity to connect to the Spirit and to view myself in the context of that which is not only bigger than I can fully comprehend but does touch or place my being less in isolation and more in space and time. 


Rhythms are vitally important to this inquiry. Dawn and dusk. Birth and death. War and peace. Despair and Hope. Love.


Learning how to live and move, and dance, in Time might become an inspirational rule of life. Orientation and perspective might align with a fullness of unknown proportion.


Here is a start:


MEDITATION IN SUNLIGHT
                                 by May Sarton


In space in time I sit
Thousands of feet above
The sea and meditate
On solitude on love

Near all is brown and poor
Houses are made of earth
Sun opens every door
The city is a hearth

Far all is blue and strange
The sky looks down on snow
And meets the mountain-range
Where time is light not shadow

Time in the heart held still
Space as the household god
And joy instead of will
Knows love as solitude

Knows solitude as love
Knows time as light not shadow
Thousands of feet above
The sea where I am now


I feel myself breathing more rhythmically and freely. I feel myself turning my face toward the warmth of a sun which has kissed infinitely.

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